Who I've Become

Do you ever realize something about yourself that you wish didn't exist? I have been made VERY aware of some character flaws lately. I never wanted to be the person I've become, but suddenly it's who I am! How do you change that? Will it be easier now that I recognize that I don't want to be this way?

When you see something your whole life, you begin to subconsciously believe it is acceptable. When in all reality, if you had just stopped to think you would know it is absolutely NOT the way to live! I want to apologize now to everyone for this character flaw. I am a jerk!

I have never been one to hide my feelings, and I don't want to start now, but I never intended to be such a jerk about it. I constantly find something wrong with everyone and everything. Nothing ever measures up to my expectations. This is my fault. I have never been willing to accept people for who they are. There is absolutely no need for me to put others down! I am by no means perfect!! Nothing about my life is perfect. My family life is messy, my work life is messy, my personal life is messy. When did I decide I was better than everyone?

I want to make a conscious decision from now on to be straightforward with people, but never rude! I know I will mess up. I know I will not change overnight. But if you hear me gossipping or being mean or rude, please let me know right then. I may get upset with you, but I promise I will get over it and be a better person for it! I genuinely care for people, and I need to show that.

I want to show Christ's love through me. That is something I don't know that I've ever done, or ever been able to do. That is my new goal!